[Another old post from previous site]

Today in Kosovo, the head of our Twinkie coverage division, Bob shunker, was shot in the line of duty when he jumped in front of a firing machinegun aimed at a box of Twinkies. He will always be remembered for this heroic act. He survived the shooting, barely, but the ambulance driving him to the hospital was bombed and totally destroyed by a N.A.T.O. bomb. Also his successor was killed when he went deranged and dumped a whole bag of Twinkies down the garbage disposal. He was shot in front of a firing squad later that day.