[Another old post from previous site]

Today, hordes of fans are cheering and screaming at the new release of the Star Wars: Episode 1 in Jacksonville, Florida (why in the hell would they pick a crappie town like that for a showing? Nobody knows). They are waiting in line to buy tickets for the show witch comes out in two weeks. The new edition contains 30 more minuets of film where Jar Jar is brutally beaten and killed by the whole cast of the movie. We have obtained information from one of our reporters just before he was trampled by the fans rushing to the ticket office. Jar Jar will have his legs and arms ripped out of their sockets and then he will have to listen to the Back Street Boys for 48 hours strait. Then after that the cast will each have their own turn in doing something to Jar Jar. It will be the best Star Wars movie ever!!! Too bad one of our reporters died, he would of loved seeing Jar Jar die, he hated that little freak.