[more old posts…]

A man wearing a Goofy hat on his head has crashed into the guardrail on San Jose road. He is ok but he knocked over a one of our reporters carrying a bag full of Twinkies, the Reporter was killed and his Funeral will be held tomorrow. We don’t know the status of the Twinkies right now but will soon.

A bunny rabbit was run over repeatedly last night by a frustrated pet storeowner. Today he will be tried for first-degree murder and might get the death sentence, hopefully, you scum bag. Unfortunately the reporter was killed by the same people right after he filmed it.
In the news for April 4th we have some late breaking news, Jesus has risen from the grave but was immediately killed with a stake through the heart by psychotic Buffy the Vampire fans thinking he was a Vampire.